What’s in your control?

As I’m getting older, I realize that so much is not in my control. The market, the economy, the decisions and reactions of those around me, which ideas are deemed good or bad by leadership, events, timing, conditions, serendipity…

So what is in my control? Here’s what I believe is:

My commitment to excellence: I hold myself to a very high standard. I want my output to be world class, but also true to what I believe to be the north star. I want to set an example for others, especially for young girls who feel insecure - a place I was all through my 20s. I want to be able to disagree and commit but also present my POV with confidence. The best people want to work with the best people - this drives me above all else.

My commitment to the team: I love to come through for people who rely on me and I love to win as a team. I want to do what’s best for the business and the team first, and put the ego second. My word is reliable, I do what I say I will do. I commit to timeliness, even to my own deteriment. I over-communicate because I think empowering people with information is better than keeping them in the dark. It’s ok if you don’t read it, but I commit to sharing what I uncover.

My commitment to leadership: My job is not to tell the story that someone wants to hear, my job is to have a perspective on what the truth is - what is going to help the team get to the next level. I seek to balance this with being a good cross-functional partner, be flexible. Disagree and commit but also share what I see, when I see it. I don’t have to make the decision but I want to arm cross-functional teams with the context they need. Context not control, always.

My commitment to expectation setting: Expectations from leaders are not always clear, and I don’t assume that I gave clear expectations if some of mine are not met. I want and give feedback on where the gaps are, I’m direct and appreciate a direct approach that is delivered with good intention. Delivering feedback should always be in kindness and good intention. Being specific on what it would take to get the work to the bar expected (from me and from others). I also give a lot of thought on how to deliver feedback to others, so that the person recieving the feedback feels like I want them to succeed. I always seek to deliver the feedback in a safe space so it can be absorbed and not feel like it’s being delivered on a stage. I also end every feedback session with filling my colleagues back up with encouragement. Leaving anyone feeling low and empty after feedback from me is not my style.

My commitment to improvement: I seek to improve with every role I take on. I want to be coachable, adaptable and flexible. I am comfortable with uncomfortable conversations, with concrete delivery of what I can do better. It’s part of the reason I’ve moved across the world so many times in my life, to push myself into new circumstances. Rising to the ocassion without losing my spirit.

My commitment to outcomes: I always come back to the objective. What are we trying to achieve? Sometimes the last 20% of polish on a project may be a very bad use of time, if that polish will not move the needle and the outcome is achieved with the 80% work done already. I am very thoughtful on how energy is spent.

This is in my control. This is where I can show up for myself and for my team. This is where my energy will focus.

Everything else is a circumstance, not in my control, not worth dwelling on.